learning language

by Philippa Zang

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released July 2, 2015



all rights reserved


Philippa Zang Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

genre fluid and gender fluid fuxx witmee

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Track Name: centrifugal magik
I reach into a deep cauldron
Of wispy purple centrifuge
I tell you
With words of sweaty wrists and hidden fingertips

We both waited for a long time
My anxiety murmuring in your bowels
And putrid flames elevating themselves
From a previously settled
Abyss of a short history

My lips begin to formulate words
A sonnet
In my native tongue
Of good riddance revenge writing
And tiptoes that form perfect polygons around what I'm trying to say

The moment that my hip hit the blanket
box spring groaning under the weight of two sulky entrées
Steamy with worries of our own
I should have known

I speak to you with hungry hips and healthy hands
My lips are cold
don’t kiss me unless its room temperature
cause they might spew ice from my soul
and eyes get pierced with icicles
and if your eyes
gets pierced with one of those
you could never pierce me with your eyes again
Track Name: red judy
there are blood stains on every
thing i own
i keep myself very
concentrated on things i know
people and places i love

it's hard to detest
my own face
so long as it's pressed
up against his in a kiss
that's when i love my own lips

they say god works in mysterious ways
he fucks up sometimes
but that's ok cause he's god
and these are days of unwavering faith

i'll tell a story many times
in different words
i'll try to make it rhyme
Track Name: pencil me in
you’re not even slipping away
but i still worry everyday
scared for the day
that you may
i miss all the people i hardly know
i fix things with my mom
things will be ok for tonight
a girl with short hair what a sight

and the memories run through my mind
like when i learned that song for the first time
things are changing and so am i
but my heart stays young and it makes me cry
you hold so many things of mine
and i hit plateaus all the time
if I’m better than you than i am selfish and conceited
if we are the same than i am wrong and weird
if we are the same than why am i in tears
Track Name: golden girl
golden girl
golden dreams
golden bricks and golden seams
i have everything i need
i have everything i need

golden girl
why do you cry like your a silver girl
you got a guy and gourmet food and pearls
you got your private school
and life wants to serve you up
a platter of
whatever you want!

wild boy
can hold me here as long as he enjoys
i wish to please him and so i play coy
golden girl deserves a golden boy!

he didn’t stay long enough
and i never missed him much
and i was always too sad and guilty
and he only had one collared shirt
and he only had one collared shirt

and i miss him now

you put on his shirt
and i don’t know how i feel
i know i love you
but what is the appeal?

and you’re both not gone but i miss you both

i'm too easy to read
Track Name: iggy :-(
you make no sense
you make me feel tense
you make me wanna throw
a fit
you sound like shit
Track Name: 1 part angry/1 part sad
I'm crying on the walk home
Luckily they can't see my tears bc the sun is brighter tonight
And sharing and shining it's vibrant rays against you
You squint your eyes and are distracted
I wish i wasn't so alone
It would help if you had a phone
And yes I'm angry at you a bit
And yes the rest of this month
I'll be doing the cutest shit
With you with you
Because it seems better
Than anything else
And it might never happen again
For me for me
Yeah what happens for you may never happen for me
And yes I am angry a bit
Don't tell me the problems with my relationships
He's my friend and yeah he thinks he's too cool for me
But we are fine and planting a garden maybe next week
Maybe I'm bored and maybe in scared
And maybe that's why I am mean and evil and unfair
To you And want to be mad at you
For no good reason but I've never felt like this before
Track Name: weekend friends
weekend you is completely different
and when i write songs i am exposed
but you in only skin looks different
than you fully clothed

weekend friends
completely different people
than during the week friends
less stress, more intimacy
Track Name: run 2 sun
I wrote this song for my brother who
Went off to follow his heart
No plan is set for where he goes
But he needs to leave these parts
Some people have heads that like direction
Some people have hands that need steadied
But some people can't handle a house
Confinement keeps their thoughts dull
I should cry that he's leaving
But I can't bring myself to tears
To know he'll be happier anywhere else
Than if he were to stay here
***I want my moms sympathy
I want all the knowledge in every book I see
I'm the type of girl that likes to feel free
To roam and to eat and learn and to sleep
Is that too much to ask?
Is that too much to want?
We could run 10,000 miles and we'd stay the same distance from the sun
I wrote this song for big shoes to fill
Of revolutionaries past
It's too easy to get caught up in the eternal list of things to do
I've got to keep it simple and
Enjoy my youthful years
If I ever want to leave this place
Without regrets or fears
I could make a list of things I hate and love and aspire to be
How can you expect justice when they won't respect basic human needs?
She said that laws mean order
And that there is no other way
I said look out your door and I ripped the illusions away
They rippled then they fell
Straight into the dust
The veils seem strong but they are quite weak
We'll destroy them cause we must
I said you think these protect you?
They are only sheets of glass
And baby they are melting down
But it's better if they're smashed
Because Freedom starts with choice and oppression starts with possession
And community starts with solidarity
And property leads to aggression
And we will always be thieves
If we take what we need
But when all of the trees are gone they will find they cannot eat money
I will join my boy one day
This song is for him
There is no place you can't go
When there are no mind limits
Track Name: cute brain//waste of time
So another girl likes you
just Another way to pass the time
You've missed too many chances
But I'm sure this one'll turn out alright

You got it going for you
Everything you want
At the right time right place
Right laugh
Cute face
You play it off like nothing's been better
You're desperate otherwise
You'd find what your looking for on the inside
What a cute brain
And what a waste of time
At first I thought you were such a good find
Wasn't long until you were mine
But none of that was worth anything
It turns out you were only in it for the fun of owning something
Track Name: rice
all my clothes smell like rice
i am not rich but i am nice
kindness will have to suffice
monkey see monkey do whats right
he asked for a lighter and he asked for a smoke
said he’s had a long day and his lighter broke
i would if i could was my reply
but i have nothing to provide
i gave him a hug and blew him a kiss
it landed right on his top lip
i gave him a sweater and asked if it fit
i was delighted to hear that it did
he said this "sweater smells like rice!”
i laughed and i said don’t gotta tell me twice
all my clothes smell like rice
i am not rich but i am nice
if you need my help than its all yours
we can share my basmati t-shirts and sg cord
thats all i have to give, but id like it if you stay
if not id love to see you again one day